Friday, July 29, 2011

Bronx.

I've been annoyingly busy, I know. Now I'm off to the Bronx for the weekend so I'll be even more annoyingly busy. Maybe I'll draw some stuff while I'm there though.


Why is it called a companion cube, when it can't even move? You tell me its my friend, you LIE. 
Its a block. With a heart on it. Gee. Thats swell. 

In other news, any comic that adds CATS instantly gains more popularity. I'm thinking I have to add some cats. Perhapes if I just say "cats" a lot, it'll help. Mmm, cats.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Friends?

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-$9.99.

Thats right, we'll pay you $9.99 to stop being a sociopath! Get your pills today!

BUT WAIT, there's more, the first ten callers will also receive a SPONGE.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

That Feeling.

You know that feeling where all of the sudden you just want to do some real ART? Yeah, me neither.
So, here are some trees an' shizzle I painted.


I try to think of funny things to say, but I FAIL.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Gorrillant


This, this is my masterpiece, the final creation, the greatest beast ever to clumsily peel a banana. 

I figured I'd feel accomplished by now, but mostly I feel like I just drew a bunch of animal mashups. 

BUT, 600 views today! Thank you everyone, merry christmas, and goodnight!


So... still there? Hey. Hey there.

I like your face.

A lot. 

Mhm.

-stares at you-

Cowder


Its a cow and a spider. Meh. I'm getting tired of these, today will be the last day I do animal mashups for a while. But I'll do two, as a bonus. BONUS TIME.

Bonus time is better than seizure time, you know that superpower where you yell out "SEIZURE TIME!" and everyone in hearing range has a seizure? No? Don't remember that one? 

Epilepsy man was never as popular as spider man. He died a sad, lonely old mutant. Poor chap. 



Speaking of chaps, why do people wear those things as a fashion item? I know its not common, but why EVER. Seriously, its like wearing a mining helmet to the club. 
... Now I want to. 

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Rhidactyl


Somewhere back when pterodactyls and rhinos chilled together like good homie-Gs, a hero was born. Half beast, half flying dinosaur, he was a Rhidactyl, first of his kind, and probably the last. 
Wherever there was injustice, Rhidactyl was there to make it right, wherever Bobo the ape took more than his fair share of figs, Rhidactyl was there to make sure Bobo was stared at in such a way as to make him decidedly uncomfortable.

And trust me, when a rhidactyl stares at you, it is decidedly an uncomfortable situation.

Accomplishment

One day I imagined a toaster. Then I imagined a gorilla. Then I felt accomplished, so I took a nap.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sharinguin


You'd think from the name that the Sharinguin would be all about... sharing or something. 
BUT NO, IT IS NOT SO!
The Sharinguin is half shark, half penguin, therefore it will waddle at you menacingly. 

Monday, July 11, 2011

Praying Manatee


                      And you think YOUR underwater lawn has a bug problem.

Now, I really think a praying manatee would be a superb survivalist. It can store food in its large fat reserves, retreat into the ocean or go on land, depending on predation and habitat, eat grass, and also catch other creatures for food with its large grasping claws. Maybe you could domesticate them and milk them! Also, if it laid egg-sacs like a mantis, it could reproduce at a rate faster than any other mammal. Herds of praying manatees would roam both land and sea!

I bet they'd be delicious.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Catapus

Half cat, half platypus. What else is there to say.

I say we switch to a base-12 number system, where the 11th and 12th digits are represented by the symbols "¬" and "#", which would be pronounced "BAM!" and "UNFHH".

Now if you want to say it's midnight, you just grunt.



It was confused.


It being me.


Why am I always it?


I don't like tag anymore.



That is all.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Turtle Doves.

I always wondered why anyone would ever call a dove a turtle. Either it's a dove, or it's a turtle, not both, make up your minds people! Turtle doves are renowned for their soft coo-ing, but seriously, when was the last time you heard a turtle make ANY noise? I'm convinced that the turtle dove is not what people usually call a turtle dove, but rather something looking a bit more like... THIS:

Is it just me, or have my last few drawings been kinda cruddy... OH well.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Girat


Somewhere between the trees and the piles of garbage dwells a unique opportunist, the girat. Able to eat things off of tall shelves, it has a distinct scavenging advantage over its shorter cousins. 
But mostly its just hideous. Poor lil' thing.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

How can it even...

It can fly, it can kick, it can stare at you sideways while ruminating on what was previously your safari popcorn.
I present you, the Haliaeetus Emufulirillininiusinusicus. The mighty, Emu-Eagle.


Not to be confused with an emo-eagle, which tends not to last longer than 4 months since it can't bring itself to kill a rabbit for food.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

This will happen again.


Far in the reachiest depthlynesses of the oceanic swirly-thing-amabobber, dwells a small woodland creature. This creature has it all, furry paws, an adorable tail, STRIPES, buck teeth, the ability to store large amounts of nuts in its cheeks, and TENTACLES. 
I present to you, the many-suckered Chipmunktopus Whattheheckicus.
Colloquially referred to as the "Don't ever give it coffee".

... 

Sometimes, its best not to wonder too long what the baby of two different species would look like. 

Giraffe and sewer rat. 
That is all.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Back to the war.


"Yarr, astride my battle chicken, nothing can stop me! The sturdy legs of this hatchling carry us to victory!"

but seriously ya'll, how come we only domesticated horses, water-buffalo and camels for riding. What I'm saying is, WHERE IS THE BEAR CAVALRY!?

Just woke up from the most lucid dream I've had in ages. I was in a sleep study and people kept putting cats on my feet. Why, why would you put cats on my feet? Also, everyone else was asian. And the walls were dark blue. 
I remember now why I specifically tried to STOP lucid dreaming, because when you wake up you feel punch-drunk, it's worse than getting knocked out. 

Kids, don't do drugs. I don't, and look how normal I turned out! :D

Oh I knew entirely what you meant, but I like pointing out random exceptions and talking about cake. So...

--Special thanks to Sabrina for helping with todays art.--